Posted in General Posts by cherith maley on 1/6/2012
1.6.12
5:20 pm
long beach, CA
sun porch
It has been about 3 months since I last wrote anything. That is a really long time. To be fair, I have never been good at blogging, journaling on a regular basis, or taking notes for that matter. I’m not good with words. It is extremely difficult for me to accurately write out what I want to say. It almost always sounds like the ramblings of a crazy person when I read back to myself. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a very expressive and animated storyteller. While this a great skill to have as an actress and at parties to entertain large crowds, it does not, however, translate well on paper.
That being said: It is a new year and I have decided to challenge myself to writing at least once a week. I think it will be a good way to keep myself accountable. Also, it gives me something to think about and look forward to during the week. That’s right, I don’t have a lot going on.
Honestly, the only thing I have been thinking about lately is that I am leaving in July and I am still so far from my financial deadline. Seriously, I am terrible at fundraising. I trust the Lord but at the same time I feel like I need to be doing so much more with my time. I simply am not creative enough to come up with effective fundraiser ideas. I need something that will make me a significant amount of money. I am thinking about selling my car, but that would only get me about $1000. I just don’t know what to do.
Also, I need to get my heart right. I feel like I am so far away from God. Working 2 jobs, Christmas, taking 2 weeks off work and hanging out with my friends back home, yadda, yadda, yadda. Whatever it is, (the list could go on and on) I have allowed distractions to come in between my first Love and me. I know it happens all the time. It happens to the best of us. Life gets in the way. I really feel strongly that in this time of my life, while I’m preparing to leave for an 11-month mission trip, and while I trust the Lord for a miracle I should really be on my ‘A’ game! Right?! This is when we as Christians are most vulnerable. That’s what I think at least. I somehow have not found time to read my Bible in weeks. How does that happen?? I really want to get back into the Word and reclaim the Peace and Victory that I know is mine. That is my main New Years goal. That, and loosing 20 pounds.
Today I opened up Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala and read this:
If we DO NOT yearn and pray and expect God to stretch out his hand
and do the supernatural, it will not happen. That is the simple truth
of the matter. We must give Him room to operate.
I looked up the word yearn. Here is what it means:
yearn
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Verb:
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Have an intense feeling of loss or lack and longing for something
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I can honestly say that I have not truly yearned for God in a long time, if ever. It is extremely humbling and convicting when I think about that. I feel like i am missing so much. I have been a Christian since I was 8 years old and in the 21 years that I have been walking with the Lord I feel I am still only scratching the surface of what it means to be a Christ follower. I only have a miniscule understanding of God and who I am in Him.
James 1:5-7
“ If you need wisdom-if you want to know what God wants you to do-ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent you asking. But when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. People like that should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.”
Im not sure If I really expect him to answer. Do I really truly believe that God is going to provide the $15,000 I need? I don’t know.
Jeremiah 29:12,13
“In those days when you pray, I will listen. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart”
That is a promise.
When you pray, I will listen.
You will find me when you seek me with all your heart.
***If you want to know how to pray for me, there it is. Pray that I learn to seek God with all my heart. Pray that when I ask God for something that I believe and expect him to answer in mighty ways. Please pray for distractions and temptations be removed or at least subdued. Pray for complete focus and dependence on the Lord. Pray for money to start coming in. Pray that I get real creative about ways I can raise money. Im kinda desperate.
Lord,
That is what I want. I want to seek you with all my heart. Im not even sure I know how to do that. I feel like pieces of my heart are in so many different places. Please capture my heart again. Take it all. Above all else, I want to yearn for you. I want to seek you gladly and with great expectation. Please. Nothing else matters. I cling to your promises. When I pray, you will listen. When I ask for wisdom, you give freely.
I ask that you speak clearly to me in the days and months to come as I seek your guidance and help. I need you. Lord, you provide all my needs. Teach me what it means to yearn after you. I desire your Word above all else. Change my heart to be more like yours. No matter what happens in July. Whether I stay or go, I want to be a different person than who I am now. Draw me closer to you. Make my heart more like yours.
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Posted in General Posts by cherith maley on 11/14/2011
In order for me to be able to go on The World Race, I will need to raise $15,500. You may be thinking that this is a lot of money, or maybe that it is not that much for 11 months of income to travel around the world.
Where does the money go?
How are you going to live off of this for 11 whole months?
Well, because I am a visual learner, let me put this in graph form for you...
As a World Racer, the $15,500 is broken down by these categories...
Training Camp--$320
Field Support--$620
WR Development Program--$1,860
Administration Fees--$2,635
World Racer--$10,075
As you can see, 65% of the funds that I will be raising go towards my expenses for the 11 months. Again, let me show you through a graph what this will look like.
My budget is broken down into these categories...
Intercontinental Travel--$4,235.00
Food--$1,256.25
Lodging--$1,758.75
Transportation--$1,005.00
Long Distance Travel & Misc. Supplies--$1,115.55
DEADLINES: As with most fundraising, there are deadlines that are set up by AIM that I am required to meet. Here they are...
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$3,500 - Due 5/5/2012 (2 weeks before Training Camp)
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$6,500 - Due 6/17/2012 (2 weeks prior to your trip)
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$11,000 - Due 10/1/2012 (End of 3 months on the field)
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$15,500 - Total Due 1/1/2013 (End of 6 months on the field)
I know that it is MORE than possible to have 100% of my funds raised before departure in July, will you be one of the people to make this a reality?
I know that God has called me to go on The World Race and I know that He will provide for all of my needs. Let me introduce you to some truths that God has laid on my heart from His Word.
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" Isaiah 6:8
He is sending me to share Him throughout the nations!
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
God is going to provide for my every need with going on The World Race whether it is the $15,500 or if it is my own personal needs.
"If it's God's Will, then it's God's bill!"
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Posted in General Posts by cherith maley on 9/30/2011
9.30.11
4:22 pm
Long Beach, CA
Well, my first deadline for the world race is in 2 days. I am supposed to $3,500 of my funds in my account. As of right now I have $199.50. I am $3,300.50 short. W O W, right? Not even close. Yikes!
What this means is I have some options. I can choose to continue my fundraising and go on the world race in july. Or I could just take this as a sign that it is not meant to be and pretend this whole things never happened.
Honestly, right now im not sure what I want to do.
July seems so far away, so much could happen and change from now till then. I thought January would the perfect time to go. I have a whole mix of emotions right now. I feel embarrassed, I mean I didn’t even raise $200! I didn’t even come remotely close to my goal. I feel disappointed, I really really felt this would happen. I feel overwhelmed, confused, and like a loser.
This has really caused me to re examine my motives and my reasoning for wanting to do this in the first place. Did I only want to go so I could travel the world.? Was I only attracted to the adventure of it all? Living out of a backpack, traveling the world for 11 months. Was I doing it purely for the bragging rights?
Was I using it as an escape? Am I running away from something? Am I using this trip as a way to ‘buy some time’ for me to figure out what Im doing with my life? All these thoughts and so many more are racing through my head.
My honest answer to all these questions is: NO
I pray that those of you who know me will say the same thing.
I will admit humbly that missions has never been burdened on my heart that way it is for some people. Living with the homeless and impoverished, the orphans and outcasts has never been a desire for me.
Please don’t misunderstand me, I want to love people, and share the love of Christ with everyone. I want to tell people about my God and what He has done for me. However, I truly believe that as Christians we can do that quite effectively without ever going on an organized “mission trip”.
I was I am excited about getting to minister to people in a very real, intense, and intentional way. To be pushed outside my comfort zone and allow God to use me in different ways.
The only thought I keep coming back to is TRUST ME. I hear it in my head all the time TRUST ME.
Why am I doing this, it’s crazy!? TRUST ME
Why isn’t this going the way I thought it would? TRUST ME
Why isn’t money coming in? TRUST ME
Why am being consumed with doubt and fear? TRUST ME
I have no idea what is going on! TRUST ME
He is only asking me to trust Him.
He is asking me to allow Him to lead me.
He is asking me to release all control.
He is asking me to rest in Him and His goodness.
He is asking me to live out the faith I claim to have. The faith I told you all about in my letter.
I still absolutely believe that God has put the World Race on my heart for a reason. If the only reason is because He wants me too, then that is good enough reason for me.
Lord-
Ill go. If you want me too. Ill go because you told me to trust you.
I have said from the beginning that this will never happen if I have anything to do with it. What I mean is, if im in control and try to do things my way, the way I think it should happen, it will fail. It is truly impossible for me, on my own to try to do any of this. Its just too big for me.
God, you are bigger than $15,500. You are bigger than all my doubts, fears, and insecurities. You are bigger than any excuse I could ever think of. Please continue to draw me closer to you. May I be faithful to you and what you have put on my heart. I love you, Lord. You have my life.
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Posted in General Posts by cherith maley on 9/12/2011
9.12.11
12:17pm
bedroom: long beach, ca
These are the 11 countries I will be traveling to on the Race. When I first was accepted and found out which route I was going on I was so excited. As i scrolled through all the countries, my heart was beating faster and faster. I couldn't believe it! About 6 of these countries are places I have wanted to go to for quite some time but never knew how I would get there. Now I have been given the opprotunity to visit all these places in one year. It is amazing! This route is perfect for me. I am so excited and I know that God is in every detail. These countries and people are already burned on my heart. I can't wait to be there!
Guatemala
Honduras
El Salvador
Ukraine
Romania
Kenya
Uganda
Tanzania
Thailand
Cambodia
Malaysia
So.... I got a pretty scary email from my World Race recruiter. Well, not scary, just a reality check. I have 3 weeks to raise $3,500!! I only have $142 and that is from myself. This week I am planning a small fundraiser but mostly I am relying on friends and family to donate. If anyone feels led to support me please do so now. This is my most immediate need.
If anyone has any ideas for how to raise a lot of money fast, please let me know. I am at a loss.
I opened my bible to Hebrews for encouragement and this is what I read:
For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ
Hebrews 3: 14
Lord,
That is my prayer! I pray that I remain faithful to what you have put on my heart to the very end. Even if that end is in three weeks. May i have the same firm faith and trust in you that i have always had. may it not be shaken but may it grow stronger and deeper with each day. Things seem impossible to me. i know there is no way i can do this on my own. as much as i want to. I admit this is all out of my hands. You are in control. I have given this whole thing to you. I am asking you to provide the money. I am asking to share in all that belongs to you. Your peace, Your joy, Your victory and the freedom that comes only from knowing that you are Lord of my life.
Lord it is all yours, you can have the whole thing.
All i want is you. I am clinging to your promises.
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Posted in General Posts by cherith maley on 9/8/2011
Things I got accomplished this week:
I sent out the first 2 rounds of support letters this week. I still have several that I need addresses for.
I got all my passport stuff taken care of. It should be here in 4 weeks!
I bought my tent. It was the only big item for my trip I didn’t already have.
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This week I have been praying and meditating on scripture and resting in God’s promises. I am so glad that He is in control and that everything happens in His timing and according to His purposes.
Here are some verses that have encouraged me this week.
Hebrews 12: 23
Without wavering, let us hold tightly to the hope we say we have, for God can be trusted to keep His promises.
Habakkuk 2: 3
But these things I plan wont happen right away. Slowly, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.
Job 23: 13
Nevertheless, his mind concerning me remains unchanged, and who can turn him from his purposes? Whatever He wants to do, he does. So he will do for me all he has planned. He controls my destiny.
James 4: 10
When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on Him, he will lift you up and give you honor.
Isaiah 41:9b-10
For I have chosen you and will not throw you away. Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.
Psalm 138: 3
When I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me the strength I need.
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Posted in General Posts by cherith maley on 9/2/2011
September 2nd, 2011
9:26am
Sun room: Long Beach, CA
One month. One month. That is all that is going through my head today. One month. In one month I have my first financial deadline with the World Race. By October 2nd, I need $3500 in my account. This is huge! I have to have that money before I can even go to training camp. I cant miss training camp because that’s when I meet my team mates, get details about we will be doing, and tons of other valuable information and encouragement. It has been made very clear that we cant miss training camp. So how much money I have in my account on October 2nd will determine if Im able to go on the World Race or not.
What makes this even more HUGE is that I haven’t sent out my support letters yet!!! What?! I like to give my self anxiety. Im printing out my letters today and should be in the mail tomorrow. Yikes!
Im sorry this is my first blog. it’s the only thing on my mind right now. This deadline will be consuming my thoughts for the month. Hopefully, not all my blogs will be like this. But I cant make any promises :).
And now for some encouragement…
This morning I was struggling through my quiet time. My mind was racing with all the things that need to get done and the little time I have to do it in. The only thing that came to my was to pray. For some reason I pushed that idea aside and continued thumbing through my bible reading random verses that i had highlighted in the past and periodically checking facebook. Terrible. I know.
So I closed my computer and picked up Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala. I have been reading this book kind of as a devotional for a couple of months now. Its has been a huge encouragement and inspiration for me in this season of my life. So I open it up and this is this is what I read:
“God has chosen prayer as his channel of blessing. He has spread a table for us with every kind of wisdom, grace, and strength because he knows exactly what we need. But the only way we can get it is to pull up to the table and taste and see that the Lord is good.
Pulling up to that table to called the prayer of faith. ”
Boom!: Conviction
Needless to say, I will be in constant prayer for the next month. I know that I am exactly where I need to be. I know that God has brought me this far and will not forsake me now. I also know that the hardest parts of this journey are still to come and I need to discipline myself to be in constant communication with Him now and faithful in the small struggles now.
You can pray with me. Pray for peace during this crazy time. Pray that I am daily reminded of the reasons I am doing all this in the first place. Pray that I use my free time wisely. Working two jobs, it is very easy to get lazy with any free time I have. Pray that all the finances will come in.
Later in the chapter, Pastor Cymbala writes:
“God says to us, ‘Pray, because I have all kinds of things for you; and when you ask , you will receive. I have all this grace, and you live with scarcity. Come unto me, all you who labor. Why are you so rushed? Where are you running now? Everything you need, I have. ’
If the times are indeed as bad as we say they are… If the darkness in our world is growing heavier by the moment… if we are facing spiritual battles right in our own homes and churches… then we are foolish not to turn to the One who supplies unlimited grace and power. He is our only source. We are crazy to ignore Him. ”
Boom!: Encouragement.
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